Wednesday, 13 May 2015

things my teenage self somehow got away with at school

[I didn't realise there was quite as much as this when I started, and it makes me look like kind of an awful person. I would like to point out that I was quiet and smart and did fairly well at things and didn't start trouble, and also that I was undergoing some serious emotional upheaval, and also that there are just some things about me that are awful. Sorry]

Claiming my little brother had mistaken my history project for scrap paper and scribbled all over it, getting lots of sympathy and an excuse to miss the deadline, then never bothering to actually do the project at all

Spending about 20% of classes hurriedly doing the homework for my next class

Skipping out on mandatory school lunches every day for a year by hiding really ineffectually in a classroom, and only getting caught once

Being breathtakingly rude to my RE teacher (who, to be fair, was a bit creepy and seemed to like it)

Going to classes for an optional extra GCSE for a year, not even pretending to be working on a project, then going up to the teacher two weeks before the deadline and telling her I was dropping out because it was all too much for me

Bringing obviously inappropriate reading material into school all the time

Answering the phone and pretending to be my mother when my physics teacher called to complain about my lack of interest in homework. He didn't twig and spent the next few weeks smirking smugly at me, possibly imagining the dressing down I must have received

Wearing extremely non-regulation bright purple tights

Telling my tutor I had a nonspecific appointment (that I would definitely provide a note for at some stage, honest) in order to go shopping with my cousin all afternoon

Convincing an absent-minded teacher that he must have lost my homework

Keeping a copy of a "please excuse Jennifer from PE" note in my schoolbag, which I would periodically trace onto a fresh piece of paper and hand in when I didn't feel like doing PE that day

Once I got to sixth form and didn't have to wear uniform anymore, wearing a T-shirt with quite prominent swear words

Accidentally wearing said T-shirt on the first day of Prospective Students week when we were all supposed to wear suits and somehow not getting spoken to by anyone about it

Being accused of doing a thing I definitely did by a teacher who presented me with hard evidence that I'd done it, but by refusing to acknowledge what she was saying and just repeating "I wouldn't do that" over and over, getting her to walk away saying "well, I should hope not" and never speak of the incident again. I still can't believe that one worked.

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