scenes from the middle class relationship

Him: How about truffle pasta with asparagus for dinner?
Me: Sure.
Him: I'm on a massive asparagus kick lately. Which is strange, because I'm normally quite seasonal with my veg and asparagus really isn't in season at all.
Me: That's one of the most middle class things I've ever heard.
Him: I met Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall once.

Mum: I'm not sure I can cope with this thing where he doesn't like Wetherspoons. Can you train him to like Wetherspoons?

Him: This area doesn't really have a local paper. So if I'm feeling posh I can read Ham and High, if I'm feeling a bit more riot-y I can read the Wood Green one.
Me: You indulge your riotous impulses by reading a slightly more downmarket local paper?
Him: Yes.
Me: All of this is getting written down.
Him: I know.

Him: It wasn't really about Christmas presents when I was little. If I'd been good all year, my dad would take me to the West End to see a show and go to the really nice cheese shop.
Me: Oh my God.
Him: Hey, I'm not the one constantly ranting about inferior types of pecorino.
Me: Seriously though, pecorino romano? What the hell is the point of pecorino romano?
Him: Ahem.
Me: I stand by that.