stamps

[at the supermarket]

Me: Can I get stamps here?
Cashier: [blank stare] ...stamps?
Me: Yeah.
Cashier: Huh?
Me: [waving birthday card helplessly] Stamps. To send this.
Cashier: Um. Ah. George! GEORGE!
George: What?
Cashier: Do we have stamps?
George: Stamps? What stamps?
Me: [waving birthday card] Stamps?

[a moment later]
George: Oh, stamps! Postage stamps!
Me: Yes!
George: You can get them at the kiosk.
Me: Thanks.
Cashier: I thought you wanted to stamp a smiley face in the card.
Me: I just want to post it.
Cashier: Post?

[Exit Jen, feeling very, very old]