technology

Many years ago in the past...

[I am having dinner with my father]
Me: Speaking of birthdays, Mum said she wants an iPod this year.
Dad: She wants a... what?
Me: An iPod.
Dad: Oh! An iPod. Not an iPhone or an iPad.
Me: No, just the iPod.
Dad: ...you know what's good? This Dongle.
Me: Huh?
Dad: That's technology, isn't it?

Skipping forward to last Tuesday...

Dad: While you're home, I wonder if you could help me with some technology business.
Me: Sure, what's not working?
Dad: Well. For our birthday, we ended up with a thing called a Hudl.
Me: Oh, I hear they're good.
Dad: Yes. For the email and such. However, what it doesn't have is this thing called WiFi.
Me: Uh huh.
Dad: So. One has bought... a WiFi machine. But one doesn't know quite what one is meant to do with it.
Me: [helpless giggling]
Dad: What does it do?
Me: It's like a Dongle you don't have to plug in.
Dad: OH! It's like a Dongle! And they've made it wireless? Well. That's jolly good then.

Things I love about this:

1. My father, who took the best part of a decade to learn to send a text message by himself, knows all about Dongle.
2. My father knows absolutely nothing about any piece of technology that isn't Dongle.
3. My father lapses into the royal 'we' when unsure of himself.
4. Once I'd got the mobile WiFi working, I set him up on Twitter and made him follow Beyoncé.*

Then my mother came home.

Mum: While you're home, could you take a look at my new tablet?
Me: What's wrong with it?
Mum: Little things appear in the top left corner, and I swipe down, and it starts doing things.
Me: What things?
Mum: I don't know! Things!
Me: Oh, it's just trying to install a system update.
Mum: What?? What does that do? Do I want that? Help.

I do love that I, as someone who has been known to accidentally turn everything blue when using a laptop, still get to go back to my parents' and become the All-Knowing Technology Wizard. Especially when I don't even have a tablet. When both my parents have a piece of technology that I don't have, it makes me feel hopelessly out of date and like I should maybe get one too, but honestly I have no idea what I'd do with it. It just seems like a really big smartphone that can't call anyone. But maybe I just don't understand technology either.

*Text from father two days later: "And it appears that something called Roxie Rocks is following me."